A GNOSTIC’S JOURNAL – Changes in life and personality 

So since 2015 / 2014 when I started my spiritual quest & journey as an esoteric/gnostic/hermetic/mystic screen writing and media producer I have seen so many changes.

First loads of friends dropped off in the physical and on Facebook etc. This is something that scares and upsets people at the start yet a month or so after you see how much this actually liberated you and how much lighter you feel.

Then loads of psychosomatic illnesses and demons from mind body and spiritual comes up, bringing up memories and feelings that you have to release and deal with face on. Often it comes out in aches/pains/colds etc when you release it and empty the energy out. Also this comes as down times/ruts/times of confusion. This is something to be dealt with with meditation/nlp/energy work & trance work with visualisation and imagination. This is what I learned that real forgiveness is not the pardon we mistake for forgiveness. 

Then quite recently I got inspired to delete all mobile games on my devices and clear out certain distracting games/apps and rituals or habits. For me I still watch soap operas and quite a bit of tv/films etc but that’s cos I’m a media producer and it’s my field but I’m much more selective with what I watch or pass the time with and am very flexible with switching out certain pass times and habits to more spiritual or productive ones. Like learning instruments or listening to self development podcasts/audio books and lectures.

Also I’m completely turned off by anyone who is beyond control with drugs and now drink. I also don’t go to pubs regularly and find much more self discipline with moderation of alcohol drinking.

Finally my work is not working harder but working smarter. So I simplified my life to focus on what I love Or interested in. Then just focused on how I could best express myself or serve others with my interests, expertise, skills, habits, abilities and work. 


Blog of a filmmaker – advice for aspiring creatives 


The reason I’m shouting this is because the government agencies along these lines are soul sucking, life destroying and keep you trapped destroying your creativity etc.

I was never ashamed of anything or my disabilities til I claimed ESA, JOBSEEKERS and UNIVERSAL CREDIT. I’d never been in a rut or anything til I signed my soul over to ’em too. 

But now I know they must be avoided at all costs if you truly want to be successful as a creative. Since being kicked off and having nothing coming in since August 2017 I have found I’ve broken an addiction of living pay cheque or being reliant on money and income in the 9-5 rat race as well as my creativity coming back with a glorious vengeance. 

Burn all your bridges & burn all your boats to take the island. 

A GNOSTIC’S JOURNAL – Now presence 

So a quick post on some tips / ideas and experiences with now presence practice. 

I use and try to do now presence practice to improve concentration and focus or total absorbtion skills to lead to raising awareness. It’s like trance and self hypnosis practice if it isn’t in the same vein.

You make it a successful practice by relaxing and just getting in to a meditative state as you either sit in silence with out distractions or by listening to music, listening to audio books or watching the tv.

If any thoughts or images or feelings come up, just allow them to rise and be there and then drift away. Also just let your eyes and ears take in whatever they want to, don’t force any concentration or force your senses to perceive or they will strain and miss it all totally. 

This is what I do – 

I choose mainly to watch YouTube or general tv (mainly educational personal development or spiritual or docs) and let my senses perceive what ever they will. 

Put away all phones and other distractions and get prepared so you don’t have to be disturbed.

Then sit and just allow. When thoughts and feelings etc come up I just let them come and go. I find really good insights and levels of concentration and awareness as well as way more energy coming out  as a result. 

A GNOSTIC’S JOURNAL – The war on the ego

Hi, Sophie J Lees here.

I am a libertarian, hermetic, gnostic, personal development practitioner, spiritual scientist and aspiring screen writer and media content producer from the West Midlands UK. I am also a proud member of my local Lions Club and a backseat member of a local political group. Since 2014 I have become a dedicated student of personal management, personal development, spiritual science and then hermetics and psychology (or cybernetics and psychosomatics – e.g. NLP and etc).

So i’ve learnt a lot on my journey and run into some conflicts and confusions that i’ve had to clear up and felt I had to share. This all concerns the apparent confusion and war on the ego or personality.

In the new age the idea is that the ego or the personality is a demon or self constructed monster complex to be destroyed. I disagree. This is because the ego is part of our personality map which is part of our mind and selves. Also in the 21st century you can’t really function without a personality or ego to process and project or express the world around you.

I do believe we are all spirit or have a christ part which links us to the universal ONE or God spark etc (whatever you want to call it). And yes there is a global consciousness and many levels of interconnected consciousness as well as personal layers of consciousness. These include Unconscious, subconscious, conscious, superconsciousness and then this is reflected again in both the personal and global or collective consciousness. I also believe in mind before matter as well as spirit before matter – if you are more scientific it can be expressed and perceived as all is energy and light or if you are spirit it is all is spirit and we are all made of the same spirit from the same source.

So back to the ego and personality, where does it all fit in? So the new age movement and self help seems to have declared war on the ego and think that it is the negative symbol of separation and materialism which stops you from seeing your true self and must be destroyed or disintegrated to get back to your true self. Yet if you study hermetics, gnosticism and personal development or NLP, the ego and personality  is just a tool that has been corrupted by conditioning and your upbringing from when you were in the womb to 5/7 years old. (Note – that does not mean you can blame your past, environment or care givers and guides up to this point as those all had the same issues too and could only give what they had.) Knowing this, the ego and personality doesn’t need to be destroyed to find your true self but it does need to be brought into conscious awareness then re-conditioned and put back in it’s place as a tool rather than the master it has become in its corrupted conditioned form.

I feel that the new age and self help has just got dogmatic and lost in translation or confusion about this which is where the confusion and conflict arises with those of us who are more practical and into more personal development. That is because (based on the work and video I found – The art of being yourself – Caroline McHugh -TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen) there is a map of your self and personality with 4 layers or 4 Is within the self. 

Starting out and going inward to the core:

Perceptions – what others perceive you as – as many opinions of you as there are people you come into contact with.

Persona – what you want others to perceive you as – moving and changing adaptive personality

Ego – what you perceive you as – very extreme in self congratulation or self castigation and you must find the balance and still point to build a stable relationship with it and to take it from its dominance to one of service to you

Self – the true spirit self and your soul’s true face – the I am within the ego and persona Is, the holy spark we all have in equal measure which hermetics and gnostics refer to as the collective one

Also you really do need a personality self or ego to experience and perceive and function and serve properly in the world. Yes a lot of A COURSE OF MIRACLES or ART OF ALLOWING followers will say that perceptions are impure and to truly be enlightened you should go after the holy spirit / christ awareness for true reality and pure truth and true love. I do believe that you must practice true awareness and pure truth or the christ / holy spirit awareness but you must respect the ego and individual unique you that you are so that you can be active and function in the world properly, aka be in the world but not of it. This is the key of having a humility – not thinking less of yourself but thinking more about those in your presence and serving them without judgement. But you can not do this in the extremes of materialism or of spirituality, you need the balance point of both (extreme materialism here, being concerned on the ego self and outside world and extreme spiritualism here, being just focused on the holy spirit awareness).

The art of being yourself video from youtube

This is my opinion and how the message or thoughts and ideas were dropped in my head. As a media producer and screen writer I already come from a background of finding your true voice and vision so this concept of the ego and true self really resonates with me and cleared all the conflicted learning from at least july to now. I hope this article served you with something and insights and helped somehow.

Script sample – Buffy the vampire slayer Fan fiction script

Hi, I’m starting a new thing on my blog where I write a script – 1 page or 1 scene – a day and someone suggested that I put them up for fellow fans, film makers and blog readers to look at. I do a variety of scripts including fan fiction, spec scripts based on other shows and my own original ones. For my blog I will put up the spec and fan fiction ones for you to read. Please feel free to read and feedback.

For this post i have put up a link to a pdf of a fan pic script i did of Buffy or BTVS and its mainly about spike and willow.




Blog of a Film Maker – general update – 9 June 2016

A lot has happened since my last post. I am about to start a paid work placement via Advance (an into work and job centre linked company) at a media company. Its not filmmaking related but its more magazines, online media and PR and etc. Its only 16 hrs a week which means i can still work on my projects for my SJLees Media and MagicKraft Media as well as till keep working on my career path and self employment in freelance media and filmmaking etc. This is quite scary and exciting.

Also, for SJLees Media, I filmed and edited my first client wedding video (ceremony and highlight reel) which was really challenging and exciting. I didn’t earn a money payment but i gained so many new skills in live filming and editing. I gained most new skills and experience in colour correction and grading. I also enhanced my editing to music and beats which is a skill i had quite a bit of a knack for. All of this was both theoretical and practical.

I’ve also learnt and discovered, with the help and utilisation (yes i am into self development or self help / law of attraction and other related topics) of all the success and the above mentioned skills and principles, a lot of how to organise my film work and using hobbies like music playing to optimise and advance it all. With this I’ve learnt what i really want from my career and where my favourite parts are, my strengths, weaknesses and etc are.

I will be posting soon once i get a few things sorted and have got back on track with my 3 short film projects for MagicKraft Media.

Thanks for reading.

Sophie J Lees